Christmas

Mom and I went to the movies tonight, our Christmas night tradition. (We saw "The Family Stone" - good movie!)

On the way home the radio was on one of those stations that play continuous Christmas music. I was enjoying it and humming along until "Little Drummer Boy" came on. That was my great-grandmother's (Granny Norman) favorite carol. She asked my brother to play it every Christmas because he was a percussionist. (He had the hardest time explaining why he couldn't play the song with just his drum....) She's been gone a little over two years now, and I've heard the carol since then... but for some reason tonight, it hit me. I was so glad that it was dark in the car and that my mother couldn't see the tears that had welled up in my eyes... I REALLY didn't feel like explaining what I felt. It was one of those times where you're holding back such a flood that your eyes sting. I really miss her. I miss that she smelled like an old lady and that she always had gas. *L* I miss that she gave my brother and I goldfish or oyster crackers every time that we went to her house - even if we were way too old for afterschool snacks. I miss that she knew every thing that there was to know about gardening and I miss that she stuck tissues EVERYWHERE. I miss that she let Britt and I play hide and go seek in her corn garden, and I miss shucking peas with her on her front porch while we watched the cars go by. I miss that when we were in trouble she called us every single family name but our own. ("Ida, I mean Kim, I mean Eleanor, I mean Kathy, I mean LORI!" "Sam, I mean Clay, I mean JB, I mean Joel, I mean BRITT!") I miss holding her hand while we watched TV. I love that she made Britt and I watch her "stories" (soap operas) every afternoon, immediately followed by wrestling. That woman loved some wrestling! I miss that she gave everyone underwear that didn't fit for Christmas every year. I miss her strength. I always admired what a strong woman she was - and I never told her. I should have told her. I miss that Britt was always her favorite (even though she would have NEVER admitted it in a million years.) I miss her. And for some reason, I miss her more right now than I ever have.... Merry Christmas, Granny Norman.